Memorial Day Weekend

Let me paint a picture; a warm summer day, the sun is shining, there is a slight breeze in the air, and there I sit on the back patio with my wife and the dog just relaxing. Amber arose from her seat and headed towards the corner of the house where the hose pipe was as if she was going to water the flowers. She turned the faucet all the way on and grabbed the adjustable nozzle checking to see which stream it was on. She, and this is where it becomes amusing, turned it towards her face to see which stream she wanted (flat, jet, shower, etc.) and it must have been on full because almost immediately she received a punishing shot of water to her face. I swelled with tears of laughter, but I held back with all might any hint of laughter, that is until she looked up and started to laugh her self. I lost it. She looked up, makeup streaming down her face and a huge smile. It was hilarious. It was a moment that you think to your self, “did I just witness that?” I laughed for a solid hour. Needless to say amber is fine just a little watered. That was just a small portion of my Memorial Day weekend that was spent doing as little as possible. We relaxed and soaked up the sun when we could. Sunday night we had a volley ball game (we joined a league) and lost. We lost to a team that had a pregnant women and a big ol’ fat guy. But the beer was cold and we had a good time. Monday morning I headed out on the bike with Chris and it rained the entire time we rode but it wasn’t a straight down pour just a little trickle. It was a great weekend but I mostly just wanted to tell you the story about Amber.

Denamrk does it again.

I recently came across a map of Denmark;

and after studying this map for sometime I realized that the danish are just giving the rest of the world the middle finger.

Just because they have great health care, a great economy, and a viking ship museum doesn't mean they have to be so rude. Do to Denmark's wind farms and other renewable resources, they have plans to become independent from fossil fuel use by the year 2050. That means they will be in no need of oil at all. That's freaking HUGE! Could you imagine a country not reliant on foreign oils. That may be the reason for the middle finger. One way of achieving that is Denmark has over 40% of the population biking to work helping it to be one of the cleanest countries in the world. Denmark is so clean even the politicians are clean. I'm not entirely sure about the politicians but the new United Nations building in Copenhagen is.

UN City was design by a Danish architect firm (3XN) and it shows. It's no surprise that the roof houses 1,400 solar panels to support renewable energy but it also pumps sea water into the basement to act as a refrigerant to cool the building, but sea water isn't the only water being used. To help reduce waste UN City has rain water collection system that is predicted to collect almost 3 million liters of rain water a year (weather permitting) to be used in bathrooms, kitchens, and showers. That would be enough to flush the entire buildings toilets for a year. the goal of this building was to reduce energy consumption and it achieved the goal by reducing energy use more than 55%. The UN City also encourages its employees to bike to work (no surprise) by adding 680 bike racks. So maybe they aren't giving us the middle finger but saying, "Hey, world, look over here! I have the solution for renewable and reducing energy!"

We definitely need to pay attention to what Denmark is doing, grant it USA is a much larger country, we may still be able to get inspired by their efforts to keep the Earth as clean as possible.  

most of my info was provided by; http://denmark.dk/en/

"You say you love rain, but you use an umbrella to walk under it. You say you love sun, but you seek shade when it is shining. You say you love wind, but when it comes you close your window. So that's why I'm scared when you say you love me."                                       -Bob Marley

Snow Mercury

Recently I saw some photos of snow flakes, and I thought to myself, "with all the snow flakes falling, millions upon millions, through out a year in areas that cover half of Earth, some so tiny they are microscopic, how can we truly say that no two are alike?" Think about it. It’s like saying that no two stars are alike. Has anyone recorded and analyzed every single snow flake that has fallen? Maybe they are on a cycle or pattern and the same design falls every six months. I’m just saying.

 Also, why did he (Freddie Mercury) sing about fat bottom girls?

Finally a list of some more questions I have;

·        Why do we turn down the radio when we are lost or looking for an address?

·        If con is the opposite of pro then is congress the opposite of progress?

·        If we evolved from apes why are there still apes?

·        Why hot dog companies and bun companies haven’t coordinated and package their product in the same amount or why does round pizza come in a square box?

·        Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?

 

Golf and Bullshit

Although I have played golf a few times in my life I don’t consider myself a golfer and I realize that I know nothing of the sport but for some reason golf is the sport of the medical field and everyone is a master except me of course. If golfers had mascots they would be doctors. Doctors and other medical professionals that talk to me usually at some point try to talk golf. It’s funny to see their reaction after they get done telling me how good they are and I reply “eh, I’m not a golfer.” It’s like I broke some sort of covenant for medical professionals. They make it seem as if I’m a spy for the other sports sent to infiltrate and get intel on the doctor/golf alliance. There is usually a short silence followed by a sudden, “ok, well see you later,” like they shouldn’t be talking to me.  They never look at me the same afterwards.

If you want someone to believe a load of crap that you are about to give them say it with one of three things; use a percentage, start the phrase with, “scientists say...,” or tell your audience you read it in an article. For instance 84.7% of people will believe anything you tell them when there is a percentage involved. Scientist say breathing under water can be achieved by humans who have a gullible gene. The article I read stated that you see better when you are scared. Now aside from “believe anything you tell them” and “gullible gene” those past few statements seem legit. So next time you want to throw around some bullshit to your friends just remember to add one of the three things to your crap to make it seem possible. By the way I don’t know if you can really see better when you are scared.

Best way to SHAVE money

I'm am  man with a beard, but damn it if I didnt have a beard I would join this club not just to SHAVE money but because the opening ad is F**** awesome.

https://www.dollarshaveclub.com/

Click it, you know you wanna!

 First let me just say that the conclusion of the MRI stated that I have a "normal brain." A normal brain? I don't know how accurate that MRI was but it may have been a little off on that conclusion.

Second, why don't they play music in public bathrooms? I mean really? I have know interest in hearing the person next to me using the toilet. 

Third, how did Slash's hair never catch on fire? You know that hair had some flammable products in it, plus I'm sure his breathe was one shot shy of being a reliable fuel source, and with a lit cigarette always hanging from his mouth... he cheated death or just traumatic baldness.



And lastly, this was a bumper stick of a car in a parking lot. Let me just point out that it was about the size of a normal bumper sticker somewhere around eight inches long and four inches high. But it's not just a few words like, "Shit happens" or "have a nice day." No its the longest sentence in the world. If I was driving and this person was in front of me I would have wrecked trying to read that. Even more I would have to have buried my car into his trunk just to get close enough to read it. When i took the picture I was standing about three feet away and was still struggling to read it. All that aside, after reading it I said to myself, "what the F**** did I just read?" So I read it again. Then again. After the fourth or fifth time I started to get the point of it... I think. Basically I took it as saying, "be yourself." Why didn't it just say that? Thanks a lot Phillip Clapham for making me waste 15 minutes of my life trying to figure out what you are saying. In all honesty he did make it sound cool.

Quote: read the bumper sticker from above.