Friday, September 27, 2013

Grind my gears

You know what really grinds my gears? Is when I walk into a store in the middle of September and the store has already set out Christmas stuff. I mean come on, it’s not even October yet, we still have Halloween and Thanksgiving to get through. It seems they put out Christmas stuff earlier every year, but it doesn’t just happen in the stores. Neighborhoods across the USA seem to put out décor sooner every year as well. Down the street from us someone has put out Halloween décor already. Look it’s not that I’m not excited about the holidays or that I think it’s not smart to start shopping for X-mas gifts early but I just don’t want to start hearing Christmas music on the radio three months in advance.


Friday, September 13, 2013


There are a lot of things in the world today that just make people say, “what the f**k?” Whether it is Miley Cyrus, Kanye West, Dennis Rodman or the entire NCAA. For instance, Miley, and outrageous performance that has led everyone to believe she is on the fast track to turning out like Britney, Lindsey, or Amanda. But what is more sad than her reputation is that most people reading this will know who all of those names belong to without even hearing the last name, but if I mentioned Bashar al-Assad or Kim Jung-un only a few would recognize what I was talking about. I realize that the demise of young celebrities is more entertaining than threats against the USA and that a raunchy performance by a twenty-something will get over 300,000 tweets in the first minute but come on people there are much bigger issues out there. Kanye West and Dennis Rodman are just idiots.
As for the NCAA, if you dig deep enough on any football team you will find some corruption and bribery somewhere down the line. Again, get over it. No matter how many people you punish and how many game suspensions you hand out there will always be someone handing out money to keep a winning streak alive. But the stupidity doesn’t stop there. As the athletes go to the pros they get a bigger paycheck, legally this time, along with a gift basket of performance enhancing drugs. Then they get injured and can’t play for the rest of the season but still get millions to sit the bench. Hey I have an idea, every game they don’t play take the money and put it back into the economy… A-Rod? Again it’s not their fault but ours for wanting to pay $100 a ticket to watch them sit there and cry. Or a better idea let them juice up with roids and increase difficulty of the sport. That would make it real entertaining to see true monsters go at it.
Put all the down-falls of celebrities and the chemical war fares aside for a minute and let’s talk about a real serious issue, Parking and the ass-holes that don’t know how. If you drive a nice car but don’t want anyone to park next to you then park at the very end of the lot. Don’t take up two spots. When you do that you are just asking for someone to purposely ruin your douche-car with a key or a door. There are only eight-hundred thousand BMW’s in the USA I don’t care that you own one. And parking diagonally doesn’t omit you from being an ass-hole. If you go to the store and only need milk, park your car in a parking spot not in front of the store in the fire lane. Are you really handicapped? No. It’s obvious when you are a sixteen year old that gets in and out of a taller SUV with high school football stickers on the back. There are real handicaps out there that truly struggle. Being fat isn’t a handicap either, that’s just laziness and your doctor should be smacked for giving you a handicap sticker. There should be spot at the end of the lot mark specifically for fat asses next to the douchebag parking. You people should have to walk the farthest anyway. I’m going on a campaign to stop horrible parking. Maybe I’ll type up a citizen issued ticket letting the parker know what an ass-hole they are. Provided in the ticket will be a number for a driving school.  

Rant done.   

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Astronaut selfie

How I feel when someone hands me a mixed drink instead of a beer.