Bettlejuice, Whiskey, and Criticism

Lately I’ve come to realize that I can’t watch a movie or look at a picture without… not sure how to put this, criticizing it (maybe). However, when I see, for instance, a picture of a family of five carrying a canoe (we have one at work) mom, dad, two boys and a girl, I can’t help but to think to myself, “all of them can’t fit in that canoe.” Then the thoughts start to tumble.  “There aren’t any seats in the canoe. And the daughter is the only one with a paddle, so are they just going to all take turns paddling. And they aren’t even heading towards any water. Ok, so maybe they are done and they are heading back.” I know, I know, it’s a simple ad to get people to buy into something but for some reason it gets to me. Another example; Amber and I were watching Beetlejuice, the movie, and in the beginning when the car goes off the bridge in a short, slow drop into water where the car floats a bit before sinking that supposedly kills the main characters, that situation is easily survivable and their escape from the car could have easily been done but they still die. I can’t get past it, it just gets to me. The worst is I realize that it’s just a movie or an ad but I can’t help but think to myself. “That could have been planned out better.” Take for instance the canoe picture; if it was me making the ad, I would have put a little more realism in there. First and foremost, seats in the canoe. I’ve been in a few canoes in my life so I know a good canoe has seats. A white water canoe doesn’t but they also don’t make white water canoes big enough for five people. Also a canoe for five has to be long, credit to the picture they got that right. Add a few seats and the picture becomes even more truthful. Second, paddles. The little girl, who is maybe five, carrying one paddle for the whole boat, lets add a few more in the boat while the family carries it. We will give it four since I doubt the little girl actually paddled anyway. Third, life jackets, one or two around some necks and the rest in the boat and now we are almost there. Last, the crew, they look clean and dry. If anyone has ever been in a canoe, you know as well as I that you don’t stay clean or dry. You either get mud all over you from getting in and out or you get wet from either going in the water or switching hands while paddling which water drips from the paddle. Plus three kids, no way everyone stayed dry on that trip. They would be dry and clean if they were going to the water but they clearing were heading towards the car. Ok, ok so I looked way too much into this picture as I did in my April Fool’s 2011 post (http://number1fishblog.blogspot.com/2011/04/april-fools.html)and it probably is partly that the picture is in the kitchen so when I go to heat up my lunch I stare at it and give it my criticism.

            I know that was a bit much so here is the rest of my week. Last Saturday Amber and I went on a date night where we had some Mexican dinner at a delicious place called Cantina Laredo by the Polaris shopping center. The food is excellent. I had fish tacos and she had a veggie enchilada which, I must say, was pretty tasty as well. Then we headed to the Short North district for a cocktail or two at a whiskey bar called Barrel 44 and Amber fell in love with a drink called “New York sour.” Needless to say it was a wonderful evening. Five days of work then its play time again. This weekend we celebrate Halloween by heading back down to the Short North for what’s called Highball Halloween, and we are dressing up, or down in my case. Amber will be appearing as the Mad Hatter with her own twist on the costume while Ill dress as Beetlejuice, now you know why we were watching it. Then on Sunday I run my first marathon. WHAT!?! I know, right? Well it’s only a 5k (3.1 miles) but after a night of surely a few drinks, which I plan/hope to keep to a minimum and I haven’t ran anything close to that distance since high school over ten years ago, I may die. Needless to say this may be my last post.

            I guess that’s my challenge is to finish the 5k, alive. So until next time, I ain’t afraid of no ghost.

“There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.”                                                                                                      -Bill Cosby

just pictures

Here are a couple of pics from my new camera.

A razor company once invited George Bernard Shaw to shave his famous beard. He responded with a postcard:
Gentlemen:
I shall never shave, for the same reason that I started a beard, and for the reason my father started his. I remember standing at his side, when I was five, while he was shaving for the last time. “Father,” I asked, “Why do you shave?” He stood there for a full minute and finally looked down at me. “Why the hell do I?” he said.
– GBS

Bicycles and Cars

        While driving to work I frequently have to dodge bicyclists as they dart from in between parked cars out into the road only to cut me off and make me drive behind them going ten miles an hour which can be a huge pain in the ass when you are running a little late to work. Most days, however, they do a good job staying out of the way and off to the side of the road. Because I live so close to downtown and campus, there are quite a few bikers on the road. I myself ride a bicycle, ok just on trails but I still ride and I respect the people who do and it’s good for the environment. Well any who, I was on my way to work this morning on a fairly busy part of the road, cruising around forty and I noticed a guy on a bicycle on the sidewalk. There wasn’t anything strange about this man, typical business looking guy, shirt, tie, bike helmet. In fact I’ve seen this guy, actually the bike he was on, before. The bike is usually parked outside my office building. I continued on to a stop light where he was able to cross over and go on. As I started to catch up to him, after the light turned green, he came to a car trying to pull out of a drive way/entrance of a building. The car was slightly blocking the side walk so the bike guy went around the back of the car. I was right in front of the car that was waiting to pull out when all of the sudden I see the back tire and legs of the bicyclist go flying high into the air just as I was pulling past the car. I came clear of the front bumper the instant after his hand, shoulder, and face hit the ground and he flipped over his bike. I lost it. Then I felt bad for the guy because I have done the same thing on a trail but then I laughed again. I looked in my rearview mirror to see him jump up brush his legs off and jump back on his bike like it never happened. Later on I walked down to the parking lot to get something from my car and I saw the bike. I laughed again.

            Lesson learned, never ride a bike where there are a ton of people because if you crash people will laugh. I know it has been a few weeks, again, but I have been doing a few things. I went to an Ohio State soccer game, went hiking with Penny, and bought a new camera. I did a little valet work for a couple of weddings and I got to drive some nice cars. Ok not drive them really I just parked them. The cars these days remind me of space ships from movies. There are all kinds of lights and sounds. One even had a display on the windshield. They talk to you and park themselves it was crazy. The first thing I think of when I first got into a car like that was, “What if the battery dies?” Don’t get me wrong these cars were nice but still not my cup of tea. Amber and I were out walking when we came across a light blue 1966 Ford Mustang with the original 289(motor) in it. It was a pretty car. Amber said, “I like that car.” And that is one of a million reasons I love that woman. It wasn’t a BMW or Mercedes, it wasn’t fancy by any means. It didn’t talk, have heated seats, hell, it barely even had seatbelts. And yes she has said the same about some newer cars but the way she said it about this one, more sincere. Like she could drive the other cars but she WOULD DRIVE this car. She said the same about a ’67 Camaro we saw in Alabama. God I love that woman.

            That’s all I have for now, Ill try to post some more pics from the new camera but for now you’ll have to enjoy the one Amber took of Penny (posted down below this post). Until next time, GET OFF THE ROAD (it can mean so much, it just depends on how you want to take it).  

  “I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”  -Douglas Adams

Penny



Amber took this photo of Penny as she was being lazy on the floor.

Phucket.

More Soccer

Let us talk sports, more specifically soccer. Even more specific college soccer. Wait, before I go on, I realize the majority of my audience is American and the only college sport that matters is football. Now don’t get me wrong all day Saturday I yell “WAR DAMN EAGLE,” right in the heart of Buckeye country and I’ll fight to the end spouting that the SEC is a much better and tougher conference than the Big Ten, but on Fridays and Sundays I’m watching another score board.       All across the states, college soccer matches are played with the same rivalry and the same passion that sees a football field on Saturdays. The fans are as rowdy and loyal just like any other sport. There are powerhouses such as Indiana, North Carolina, Connecticut, and Maryland. There are underdogs every year, like the University of Dayton or East Tennessee State University. The conference tournaments and national tournaments are just as important to them as they are to any football team. They even have a Heisman trophy, well it’s not called a Heisman it’s a Hermann, but the significance is the same. Only ONE outstanding player receives the prestigious award every season. “But why, PJ, do you care so much about soccer?” Well because I write articles for a website (http://www.collegesportsmadness.com/mens-soccer) about men’s college soccer. Ha-ha, if my English teachers from high school heard that they would crap their pants. Now I’m no pro writer, far from it, and I’m still doing small things like Team Previews and Draft Profiles, which is another thing. These kids can get picked up after any season whether they are a senior or freshman, and sign with a pro team. Their draft is in January and is a huge deal in the soccer community. Some of these youngsters not only play here in the USA after college for a pro team but get picked up by an international team like Spain or England and play on an international level. I also get an article posted each week called, “PJ’s Picks.” I feature a team or player each week that I think people should keep an eye on. Now I know there are people out there that make fun of soccer like yankees (not the baseball team but them northern folk) used to make fun of NASCAR, which is now one of the most watched sports and makes a ton of money between February to October, but soccer is a huge sport all over the globe and shouldn’t be laughed at. Even during the spring season, the club (soccer teams are referred to clubs) will travel to another country to play teams on the other side of the pond. They also don’t just play one spring game they usually play between six and eight matches. For fans it’s like having two seasons. I’m not saying that you have to follow soccer but if you’re interested at all, check out the link to my articles (http://www.collegesportsmadness.com/author/pj-fish-0). They will catch you up on the season and give you an idea on who to watch. I also help out with choosing the “Player of the Week” for each conference every week, and I have lent my opinions to another site with some preseason picks (http://www.topdrawersoccer.com/the91stminute/2012/08/5v5-mens-soccer-predictions/). So check my articles, read a little something about college soccer, and until next time, WAR EAGLE!

“Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest”   -Mark Twain