DAMN nature, you scary!

 So recently I was on the ol' interweb and came across a group of picture of animals. After a long look at each I came to the realization that we don't need James Cameron to take us to an alienated place with weird creatures as we watch it on the TV in the comfort of our home, we can just go outside.

Take a look at these two guys; I can only assume they are a type of poisonous frog. Just looking at them makes my eyes hurt. They look fake, that is until you become bloated, red, irritated, itching all over, and vomiting blood because you thought it would be a good idea to pick one up.

Then there is this guy. I don't even know what it is. Assuming it's some sort of underwater creature that only poses for the camera a mere second before attacking you with hidden spikes and yelling some alien language.

Now we have all seen crocodiles and  alligators, but just look at him (or her). The head on it is just as big as some of the people on the boat. They have been known to be mistaken for a floating log in the water completely motionless, then BAM! Croc attack! The bite force on these things is so great that one chomp and there goes your arm, leg, mid section, whatever is there, gone. And never mind that this one is missing an arm, probably from a bigger croc, he can still swim out of the water high enough to prove that the top of the boat is not a safe place either. Not only is there mouth scary, their tales can swing with so much force they can break both legs of a grown man. Can you say dinosaur power?

How about the octopus and squid? They even have a tall cone shaped head with big eyes like the aliens in the movies. Eight tentacles with suction cups, some with spikes, that won't let go of their prey. Some of these things have beaks like a bird. What the hell?

 Speaking of eight... really? OK so this one is self explanatory. A spider. I may have just put this one on there not because they have multiple eyes, eight legs, hair, are poisonous, can jump , and are lighting fast, but because this particular one is wearing a helmet of water. That "helmet" won't protect you from my shoe. I don't care who you are when he moves just a millimeter you jump and yell like a little girl.

Birds. They fly! At any point, if they get mad they can swoop down from above a rein hell down on us. And there isn't just a few. There are thousands of species and large ones too like the guy on the right. Although pretty to look at from a far, piss him off and he can get real close real fast. A bald eagle, our nations symbol of freedom, has a six foot wingspan and razor sharp talons. He is the Chuck Norris of birds.

Turtles and tortoises, not scary right? Well not the guy on the left who weighs a few hundred pounds and has a built on armored house. Slow moving and a plant eater, a gentle giant, the stegosaurus of our time for sure but will outlive any human by a couple hundred years. The age of these things has never been accurately determined because no scientists has lived long enough to keep an accurate record. Then there is the alligator snapping turtle. No not just a plain old regular snapping turtle that can reach out and take off a finger or two, but a snapping turtle on steroids. A beefed up version, so bad ass they gave him two scary animal names alligator and snapping turtle. Spikes, claws, a beak, they can grow to 250 pounds, and will send you home hand less if you are dumb enough to try and touch it.

We live on a deadly, scary planet that will make you nervous to step foot outside and sometimes keep you from staying in. I left out poisonous plants, insects (spider isn't an insect), and the more obvious animals such as lions, bears, sharks, and snakes but i think the examples from above was enough to prove the point.

Oh  I almost forgot this one, the scariest thing on our planet;

(platypus)

WTF?

(I do not own any of these images and will not take credit for them)